I hate writing about things I’m unsure of. Rarely, I’m ever sure of anything. You see, I’m an indecisive person always caught up in the pessimistic side of a situation. I’m attempting at this whole positivity thing. Bear with me.
Ah the man with the gold grills, the mastermind.
The only one who made it feel right this far. I pay no mind to where his intentions lie or what goes through his head. I think that’s what bothers me most. I’m afraid. I’m trying not to push him away. That’s my biggest struggle.
His words are genuine, intentions pure. I feel safe. I don’t hear the voices in my head or the demons roaming freely. Im holding back because I can’t mess this up. I always mess this up.
I see the lust burning but, I don’t feel it. All I know is fulfillment always. It’s all they’ve ever wanted. Forced to make best friends with the demons,I blurred out the do’s and don’ts, the rights and wrongs. Still, when those words whisper in my ear, images become clear. Voices come to a low murmur. I’m able to expose myself without the fear of being judged. I recognize the person behind the grillz and the clothes. I want all of the person underneath. Who’s sentences I wish to turn into paragraphs. I long for the smile that swipes across those sweet lips in hopes that they never leave mine. I crave so much…It makes me afraid.
infinitememoirs 