How many doses does it take to keep me sane?

I detest those who judge before they’ve tried.
Who’ve never taken a sweet pull of Mary.
Who’s never been given a home in their own mind.

She takes me to places I’ve never been before.
She relaxes. She clarifies. She understands.

Her scent so strong. Her bite so deep.

Mary. My dear Mary, thank you for always lifting me up.
For always telling me the sky’s the limit.
Never letting my feet touch the ground.
You’ve expanded my horizons.
I no longer have time to think inside the box.
My thoughts wander elsewhere in this universe.
You’ve taken me to different heights.
Let me explore every inch of my mind.
You have set me free.
I can’t imagine forever without you, Mary.

Iphone Plague.

I’m speaking but you’re not responsive.
I’m talking but you’re not listening.
I’m screaming but you’re not understanding.

I want to take that device and break it into tiny minuscule pieces
and shove them back in your pocket where it belongs.
The only thing lit up you should be fixated on, is my eyes.
Not the contraption in your hands.
Look at me!, I’ve dressed up all pretty for you.
My lips are bright red because I thought you wouldn’t mind staring at them for a change.
This deep jealousy rings through my heart and shoots out of my ears as fume.
Brightness shines on your face, head nods here and there to keep me satisfied.
To give ME a sense of fulfillment.(ha!)
So, I stop talking altogether and stare at the piece of crap in your hands.
What is it that I don’t have, that this iPhone does.
I’m sorry I can’t express my emotions as easily as the emojis in iMessage.
I’m sorry I can’t spell out statuses and rap lyrics for you like Facebook does.
I’m sorry I can’t do things to make you laugh like you do when you see Twitter.
I’m sorry I can’t stop time for you like Snapchat can.
I’m sorry you can’t put a filter on me like Instagram can.
I’m sorry I can’t be as much as they can for you.
But, give me a chance. For god sake would you look up at me?
It’s all for you!

Reality

I watched you change before my eyes.
The sweetest girl I knew became the girl she feared the most.
I could see the hurt in your eyes, the flames of anger.

How I wish I could’ve been your escape. How I wish I could be enough.
Instead we climbed up to my window and let the smoke make a home in our lungs.
We coughed till our head felt fuzzy. And, laughed till our face went red.
We became numb. Filling voids with temporary happiness.
Happiness I wish could last forever.
But, like everything in life. That too came to an end.

And then I knew that day when you came to me, eyes filled with fear.
Tears streaming down your face. That there are only temporary escapes.
You have to face the demons some day.

No Negative Nancy’s.

Sometimes being positive can be the hardest thing to accomplish. Negative situations stick out everywhere. Whether it be in your social life, personal life, work life. Negativity surrounds us circling the entire globe. At times it can be very difficult to pull through a smile when all you want to do is dress like a bag and watch some stupid movie, with a stupid happy ending. But, it’s not all stupid. Though this negativity encircles us. We must pull through.

Just like you, theres people out there who feel lost. Just like you, theres people out there who just went through a terrible break up. Just like you, someones lost a loved one. Though times maybe difficult and it seems as if this will never end. It will. Time has taught me many things.. Being patient is one of them. You will get over it, you will move on.  These are things I told myself everyday after I had been victim to a terrible breakup or after I lost the love of my life or after I fell to an addiction. As bad as your story might be, as bad as you think you have it. You’ve got to wear your big girl panties or suit up and take charge of your life.

Time will not wait. You will get tired of crying, you will get tired of not knowing. So, think bigger ideas, think of a brighter path. As much as I’d love to come and shake each and every one of you, I can’t. Everything will be ok, I promise you that much.

With lots of Love,

Sophie

Being positive for all the negative Nancy’s‘s out there.