For Rainy Days.

Don’t be belittled by the hardships of life.
Face them head on. Attack them.
Tackle them to the bottomless pit.
Never underestimate who you are.
Never give yourself the inability to flourish.
You are your only set back. You are your own bully.
You are your own problem.
And, somehow you are your only solution.
Catch yourself. Be the safety net.
All the questions that go unanswered….
…The what ifs that invade your thoughts.
You have the remedy that will silence them all.
Look deeper, my love.
Because you are meant to bloom.
Even in the darkest days….

How many doses does it take to keep me sane?

I detest those who judge before they’ve tried.
Who’ve never taken a sweet pull of Mary.
Who’s never been given a home in their own mind.

She takes me to places I’ve never been before.
She relaxes. She clarifies. She understands.

Her scent so strong. Her bite so deep.

Mary. My dear Mary, thank you for always lifting me up.
For always telling me the sky’s the limit.
Never letting my feet touch the ground.
You’ve expanded my horizons.
I no longer have time to think inside the box.
My thoughts wander elsewhere in this universe.
You’ve taken me to different heights.
Let me explore every inch of my mind.
You have set me free.
I can’t imagine forever without you, Mary.

Iphone Plague.

I’m speaking but you’re not responsive.
I’m talking but you’re not listening.
I’m screaming but you’re not understanding.

I want to take that device and break it into tiny minuscule pieces
and shove them back in your pocket where it belongs.
The only thing lit up you should be fixated on, is my eyes.
Not the contraption in your hands.
Look at me!, I’ve dressed up all pretty for you.
My lips are bright red because I thought you wouldn’t mind staring at them for a change.
This deep jealousy rings through my heart and shoots out of my ears as fume.
Brightness shines on your face, head nods here and there to keep me satisfied.
To give ME a sense of fulfillment.(ha!)
So, I stop talking altogether and stare at the piece of crap in your hands.
What is it that I don’t have, that this iPhone does.
I’m sorry I can’t express my emotions as easily as the emojis in iMessage.
I’m sorry I can’t spell out statuses and rap lyrics for you like Facebook does.
I’m sorry I can’t do things to make you laugh like you do when you see Twitter.
I’m sorry I can’t stop time for you like Snapchat can.
I’m sorry you can’t put a filter on me like Instagram can.
I’m sorry I can’t be as much as they can for you.
But, give me a chance. For god sake would you look up at me?
It’s all for you!

Am I boring you?

I can feel the inch by inch space that begins to etch between us,
cutting us right down to the T.
I can feel those lips getting tired.
Gripped hands wanting more.
Oh, how I wish I could give you more of me.
I’ve given you everything. Every ounce of my being.
My cards are laid out flat. I’ve shown it all.
Yet, the deep desire burning in the pit of your stomach…
It isn’t fulfilled.
Our hands barely interlocked.
Conversations fading.
Silence falling amongst us.
My biggest fear would be that I wouldn’t be enough.
And here I am, laying bare wrapped in the warmth of white sheets.
Oh, how I miss those arms wrapped around my waist.
Your chin resting on my head. Your chest rising and falling against my back.
I lay there still on my side.
Listening to your snores disappear into the dark.
I lay still.

Reality

I watched you change before my eyes.
The sweetest girl I knew became the girl she feared the most.
I could see the hurt in your eyes, the flames of anger.

How I wish I could’ve been your escape. How I wish I could be enough.
Instead we climbed up to my window and let the smoke make a home in our lungs.
We coughed till our head felt fuzzy. And, laughed till our face went red.
We became numb. Filling voids with temporary happiness.
Happiness I wish could last forever.
But, like everything in life. That too came to an end.

And then I knew that day when you came to me, eyes filled with fear.
Tears streaming down your face. That there are only temporary escapes.
You have to face the demons some day.